Scrupuli
blunt essays with sharp points
Heaven? Or Hell?
by ScrvpvlvsJul 9, 2007 12:27 PM–The last thing Old Mary MacQuarrie remembered was going to bed. Now she was standing in a long line of people, slowly advancing through a long, dark hallway towards a bright light. At the end of the hallway there was a receptionist.
Old Mary quavered out, “Am I in heaven now?”
The receptionist replied, “Do you mean the new Jerusalem, with streets of gold and angels eternally singing the praises of Our Lord?”
“Yes,” answered Old Mary.
“Then you’re in heaven. You’ll be in the choir, playing the harp and eternally singing the praises of Our Lord.”
“Oh, no, thank you,” said Mary. “I just want to find my dear Old Paddy, and enjoy the peace that passeth understanding.”
“Then you’re in hell. Here's your harp.”
Labels: death, heaven, hell, joke
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Sometimes they fool you by walking upright.
What part of “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn” don’t you understand?
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. —Terry Pratchett
Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig. —Robert Heinlein
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Relish the love of a good woman.
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