blunt essays with sharp points

Open letter re: Grinnell College alumni “lifetime” email address

by Scrvpvlvs
Jun 27, 2017 6:00 PM–

Date: 27 June 2017

To: Grinnell College Department of Alumni Relations
  Grinnell College Information Technology Services

Thank you, but no, I will not be registering for the alumni “lifetime” email address. About fifteen years ago, I gratefully took you up on the offer of an “lifetime” email address which you are on the point of cancelling. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

The cancellation makes no sense. On one hand, it is simple and cheap to run email service for a domain. On the other hand, the cancellation is complicated and expensive to the end users. I sympathize with anyone who has lost a supposedly “lifetime” email address. One of the benefits of such an address is providing it to other Internet services, knowing that it will always work. You have cost every such person hours in cleanup, plus the worry that no important services have been overlooked.

For four years, I was the person at Grinnell held accountable for email systems serving over 2,000 people. I would have agonized over such a discourtesy to alumni. I cannot imagine doing it. And I can imagine the uproar coming from the Alumni office if I had tried.

By the way: you have a short memory. You describe the existing service as seven years old, which is either mistaken or misleading. A quick look at archives shows I have been using it since at least April 2002.


Edward McGuire ’84
Grinnell College Computer Services staff alumnus
Fort Worth, Texas

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Spybot – Search & Destroy interferes with Lync 2013 desktop sharing

by Scrvpvlvs
Oct 27, 2014 4:26 PM–This article helps you resolve a problem with Lync 2013 on PCs also running Spybot – Search & Destroy. When other people share their desktop with you through Lync 2013, you only see a blank white area where their shared desktop should be.

This problem needs the intervention of an experienced Windows user. It is not something that a user should attempt to repair without knowledge of ActiveX controls and the registry.

Here is the technical analysis of the problem.

Lync 2013 uses Internet Explorer to display the shared desktop. The desktop is displayed by a little add-on (an ActiveX control). If this ActiveX control cannot run, then you will only see the blank white area.

Internet Explorer can prevent ActiveX controls from running. In particular, any ActiveX control can be marked COMPAT_EVIL_DONT_LOAD and that ActiveX control will never be activated. A PC’s list of “evil” ActiveX controls is kept up to date by Microsoft Update, and can also be updated by third party security software.

ActiveX controls generally have an identity code. An ActiveX control that has not been assigned an identity code is treated as if its identity code is {00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000}. This ID has reportedly been used by several pieces of malware, including Commonname, CoolWebSearch, and TencentAddressBar.

The anti-spyware program Spybot – Search & Destroy protects against these malware by marking ActiveX control {00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000} as “evil” when it immunizes the PC.

Microsoft .NET add-ons must pass Internet Explorer’s safety check, and they have no identity code. This includes the add-on used by Lync 2013 to display the shared desktop.

As a side effect, then, of having previously run Spybot – Search & Destroy immunization on a PC, Lync 2013 running on that PC cannot display a shared desktop.

This can be undone by removing {00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000} from the list of “evil” ActiveX controls. To accomplish this, delete the registry entry HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Wow6432Node\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\ActiveX Compatibility\{00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000} (if using a 32-bit Lync 2013 on a 64-bit Windows) or HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\ActiveX Compatibility\{00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000} (if running a 32-bit Lync 2013 on a 32-bit Windows or a 64-bit Lync 2013 on a 64-bit Windows).

This information comes from the sources linked above and below, and is confirmed by my own testing.

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A moment of silence

by Scrvpvlvs
May 18, 2014 10:00 AM–That moment when we reflect upon our joys and concerns: it may be more important and profound than anything Edward has to say today. But out of beloved Quaker, Mormon, Magical, Humanist, and Buddhist traditions, a “still, small voice” has called him to speak to us about the life- and world-changing potential of silence.

A talk given in essentially this form at Westside Unitarian Universalist Church, May 18, 2014.

Responsive reading

Number 666, “The Legacy of Caring”

Despair is my private pain Born from what I have failed to say failed to do, failed to overcome. Be still my inner self let me rise to you, let me reach down into your pain and soothe you. I turn to you to renew my life I turn to the world, the streets of the city, the worn tapestries of brokerage firms, drug dealers, private estates personal things in the bag lady’s cart rage and pain in the faces that turn from me afraid of their own inner worlds. This common world I love anew, as the life blood of generations who refused to surrender their humanity in an inhumane world, courses through my veins. From within this world my despair is transformed to hope and I begin anew the legacy of caring. Thandeka

Why we do religion

There are certain things in my life which I call sacred. These are people, places, and events which uplift me by causing me to experience, for a time, what I wish life would be like for everyone all of the time. My spouse is sacred to me. I like being with her, and I like what I become when I am with her. Westside also uplifts me like that, and that is probably why you have to put up with me here more often than not, and my spouse could probably tell you she puts up with me, too, more often than not.

A few years ago, when Dr Elleven, our beloved minister emeritus, was preparing to go on sabbatical, I was called to join the worship team (the people who prepare these worship services). Because I have this duty, I think a lot about why we do what we do on Sunday. I recall to mind what our purpose is here, at this meeting every Sunday, so that I can help the worship service be what we Westsiders need it to be.

Westsiders say religion is a peaceful gathering of people who believe the world can be more compassionate. We learn together, help one another, and collectively pursue an ideal peaceful world, full of compassion. And of course we practice this ideal in our community. Don’t we, for example, make decisions using a democratic process that respects the rights and opinions of everyone, because that is the most compassionate way we know? So Westside not only offers me a place to belong and a sense of serenity, but also models an ideal world for me. It demonstrates for me how I might belong anywhere and be at peace everywhere.

And thinking about the meaning of Westside generally gets me thinking about the whole purpose of religion. What do any of us do any of this for?

The last time I gave a reflection, I said we are of two natures. Our aggressive nature causes suffering; our compassionate nature alleviates suffering. From the time we are very young we take some pleasure in both. The Buddhists put it that loving everyone is not natural, but it is the best thing we can do and we should learn to do it anyway. Because it’s not natural, it takes practice, and I think that is where religion comes in.

By and large, the religious practices with which I am familiar seem to have a therapeutic purpose. They diagnose the problem largely the way we do: there is a lot of unnecessary suffering in the world, which they aim to heal. And they describe the solution largely the way we do: right thinking leads to right action. They aim to clear our minds and hearts so we remember what is most important and are ready to work toward it.

We all have different names for the ideal world we imagine: Nirvāna, Paradise, Kether, Utopia. It may be a place, a time, or a state of mind, but ultimately to me each one is a metaphor for perfect peace arrived at by perfect compassion.

Sacred silence

Many of our beloved religious traditions teach that the most sacred thing of all is silent – or at least very quiet. And many traditions say that great wisdom can come to us in a listening silence. These are the traditions which say that inspiration and prophecy are not dead, or the prerogative of priests, but are essentially democratic. Anybody can receive new wisdom, and we can all learn from it. And what I am reflecting on today is what my own religious history has to say about the value of silence.

Deism and humanism

Henry David Thoreau was reportedly asked by his aunt on his deathbed if he had made his peace with God. He asked, “were we fighting?”

The deist and humanist traditions developed some new ideas. These traditions arose out of a greater reliance on human reason over teachings of the church authorities. Deists and humanists pay attention to the world to find out what is true and what is not, instead of depending on what they are told. Henry David Thoreau is, of course, one of the beloved teachers in our Unitarian Universalist tradition. When Henry retreated to Walden Pond for a couple of years, meditation was a big part of his spiritual practice. He sat for most of every morning and paid attention to what was right around him. And he wrote: “No method nor discipline can supersede the necessity of being forever on the alert. What is a course of history or philosophy, or poetry, no matter how well selected, or the best society, or the most admirable routine of life, compared with the discipline of looking always at what is to be seen? Will you be a reader, a student merely, or a seer? Read your fate, see what is before you, and walk on into futurity.“


To find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. (You might want to see a specialist.)

Recently I was fortunate to accompany the youth to a service at Kadampa Buddhist Temple in Arlington. I guess 30 minutes of this service was spent in meditation, either silent or else guided by a teacher, though my guess is probably inaccurate, because I was doing it.

I experience meditation as being deliberately and exceptionally awake: mindful of everything because the right attitude in meditation is that everything is sacred and worth attending to. In other words it is a very unselfish practice.

My favorite Buddhist author is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, Thích Nhất Hạnh. He likens mindful meditation to the attention a mother pays to her child. The child does not need to do anything to deserve love. Love comes from paying attention. As soon as you pay attention, you see. As soon as you see, you sympathize. As soon as you sympathize, you love. As soon as you love, you help.

Buddhism teaches that a person can become so attentive during meditation that compassion eclipses all selfish desires, illusions, and regrets. This is a moment of nirvāṇa, complete absence. Then unsatisfied desires reassert themselves and the person is reincarnated. Not at all like what we mean by “born again” in the Judeo-Christian tradition!

Judeo-Christian tradition

And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. —I Kings 19

My grandmother was Lutheran, and, I think largely to please her, the church of my early childhood was Lutheran. A lot of dark wood, robed acolytes with big versions of this candle lighter, lighting three candles at the altar to symbolize the trinity, or to memorialize Jesus and the two thieves as I thought at the time, and so on.

Later on, I read about Martin Luther. There is as much to like as there is to dislike about Martin, but I always come back to one thing. At a time when Martin was hiding out from the authorities with his friend Veit Dietrich at Coburg Castle, Veit wrote of him:

I cannot sufficiently admire the singular steadfastness, the happy attitude, the faith and hope of this man in serious times. … There is not a day on which he does not devote at least three hours, the very ones most suitable for studying, to prayer.

As an older child, I attended some Quaker silent meetings with my mother. These meetings generally lasted one hour, and a considerable part of that time was silent sitting, without a lot of fidgeting.

A visitor to a Quaker meeting, seeing everyone sitting in silence with no minister, once asked, “When does the service begin?” The response was, “the service begins at the end of meeting.”

George Fox, a chief founder of the Quaker tradition, was one of those who taught that “people had no need of any teacher but the Light that was in all men and women”, and that if people would just sit still and listen, the Light would reveal them to themselves, and show them how to live rightly. Quaker meetings are held with an attitude of eager expectation, waiting silently for God to speak. When a person believes they have heard God’s “still, small voice” inspire them with something for the meeting, that person stands to share a message, lead a hymn, or read a passage of scripture, and then takes a seat again. The meeting meditates silently on what was shared for several more minutes, while they wait for the next revelation.

Also as an older child, I attended Mormon church meetings with my father, who was and still is very active in his church. (My parents did not see eye to eye on religion.)

Like Unitarian Universalists, Mormons value their history, so they carefully teach their history with all its unusual features to their children. I occasionally attended Mormon religious education classes as a child, and possessed a thick stack of booklets from my father containing Mormon teachings and the history of the church, but as a child I found Mormonism a bit confusing, so I do not altogether disbelieve the story I heard about a young Mormon boy who presented a class report in Sunday School. He said, “The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But now we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony.”

But it is clear to me that Mormons share a great idea with Quakers (and here, mother is turning over in her grave). They, too, teach personal revelation. They believe their church is led by a prophet, and from time to time still add prophetic chapters to their scriptural canon. My father taught me that prayers and blessings begin in silence, waiting for words to be inspired by God’s “still, small voice”. I remember him telling me that when his second wife, who he dearly loved, was gravely injured by a drunk driver, he anointed her with oil as she lay dying in her hospital bed, and prepared with other Mormon priests to bless her with health and a complete recovery. Mormon blessings of health are in other words a form of faith healing that my father believed could really save his wife. But when he laid his hands on her head, and waited for the words to come, they were not the blessing he planned. Instead he spoke words of love and farewell, and of his faith that they would eventually be reunited. He said afterward that this was God speaking through him. Certainly I think he was only able to speak those words of release to his beloved because his faith tradition helped him develop the ability to wait for great wisdom in a listening silence.

There is a real difficulty with personal revelation as practiced by the Mormons. New truths should be tested, and a test used commonly by the Mormons is inadequate. Their scripture says “you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong.”

This may explain why the founder of the Mormon church, Joseph Smith Jr., was said by a contemporary, Oliver B. Huntington, to believe “the moon was inhabited by men and women the same as this earth, and that they live generally to near the age of a 1,000 years. He described the men as averaging nearly six feet in height, and dressing quite uniformly in something near the Quaker style.” And so my mother wins.

Unitarian Universalism

So now I am finally getting around to talking about our own religious practice here at Westside. Our practice is to set a time and place apart with sacred fire, and in the center we place one minute of silence. We are invited to contemplate, meditate, or give a prayer, and to take into this silence all the joys, concerns, and sorrows among all who have gathered here, including those too personal to share, or unknown to us.

For someone who has practiced Quaker silent meeting, one minute goes by pretty quickly. I am just getting started by the time some of us are already starting to shuffle their feet. But you can go pretty far toward nirvāṇa in just one minute.

Just as Westside is an example for me of what the world could become, the germ of a world, so to speak, so this one minute of silence is, it seems to me, the germ of Westside, our place of beginning.

To express the meaning of that minute to me, I want to repeat something I said last week. Each of us is a deep well of mother’s love. And each of us is a precious child who needs love. And again I invite you to take a moment, right now, to see or touch the people sitting all around you, and embrace all their joys and sorrows, especially those unknown to you.

– I love how people are sitting closer together now. In the moment that we are attentive to another person, we love, and suddenly we are ready act on that love and provide what is needed. We are all of us precious, and all of us ready to love.

Invitation to share

George Carlin said, “Religion is nothing but mind control.” He said, “Religion is just trying to control your mind, control your thoughts, so they’re gonna tell you some things you shouldn’t say because they’re … sins. And besides telling you things you shouldn’t say, religion is gonna suggest some things that you ought to be saying. ‘Here’s something you ought to say first thing when you wake up in the morning; here’s something you ought to say just before you go to sleep at night; here’s something we always say on the third Wednesday in April after the first full moon in spring at 4 o’clock when the bells ring.’ Religion is always suggesting things you ought to be saying.”

George is both right and wrong about this. He’s right that some religions try to control your mind. But he’s wrong to criticize mind control. How we think of something changes how we feel, and that changes what we do. When we direct our own minds to think of everything as sacred, this releases our compassion, and our compassion enables us to create justice. The difference is that at Westside and in many other faith traditions, we decide for ourselves how and what to think, and we share what we learn with one another.

So now I wish to share with you one of my meditation practices. After service, or whenever you feel moved to do so, I invite whoever is willing and able to share with me one of your meditation practices, and to share it with others in our community also.

When I am driving alone, I often practice mindfulness meditation. I do not have music playing, or think ahead to what I should be doing at my destination when I get there, or think back on what I should have done at the place I just left – which is what I am usually thinking about. I sit up straight and focus my awareness on everything around me: my driving and the other cars on the road (of course!), and also my own breathing and heartbeat and the feeling of my hands on the wheel. Everything within my sphere of awareness is sacred and worthy of my full attention.

I find that as soon as I conceive of everything as sacred and worthy, I feel and act differently. The driver who is trying to cut me off to get to the fast lane is not a jerk anymore. He’s suffering. Or his wife is dying and he’s trying to get to the hospital. And so, instead of resenting and fearing his intrusion, I invite him to go before me. This is an example of how I control my thinking, which changes how I feel, which changes what I do.

… As we rise (in body or spirit) and sing our closing hymn, number 88, “Calm Soul of All Things”.

Calm soul of all things, make it mine to feel, amid the city’s jar, that there abides a peace of thine I did not make, and cannot mar. The will to neither strive nor cry, the power to feel with others, give. Calm, calm me more; nor let me die before I have begun to live. —Matthew Arnold (tune: Thomas Tallis)

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by Scrvpvlvs
Feb 14, 2014 8:00 AM–

My lover, if my poems should be lacking all art, do not leave me oblivious. Instead, be blunt. Lest I continue, please confront me with the facts. Let them be free, thy private thoughts. Thy willow-tree curtains pull back so that I see your heart. I will no more affront My lover. My always wish is to please thee. More than move heaven, or earth, or sea I wish to move myself – to hunt the selfish out – turn best to front and give what makes thy life lovely, My lover. (If my poems should be lacking all art, do not leave me.)

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Howard Schultz of Starbucks: firm on support for marriage equality

by Scrvpvlvs
Apr 9, 2013 1:29 AM–Tom Strobhar buys small quantities of stocks for the privilege of making regressive statements at shareholders meetings. He made a statement opposing corporate support for marriage equality at the March 20, 2013 Starbucks shareholder meeting. Howard Schultz, CEO, gave the response for Starbucks.

Starbucks has video of this exchange at Note: access requires registration. If you look closely at the frame below, you can get quite a good sense of Mr Strobhar’s demeanor.

Inaccurate excerpts from this exchange have been widely circulated. What follows is an accurate transcript of the entire exchange. Corrections are welcome.

[2:23:35 Begin transcript]


[Unintelligible] Schultz, my name is Tom Strobhar. I’m in the investment business. I’m also a longtime shareholder. And to paraphrase Mr. Lincoln: that’s two scores and two years ago our company was founded. Until January a year ago, we existed without making gay marriage a core value of our company. [Unintelligible] we did quite well.

At last year’s annual meeting I asked you if it was prudent to risk the economic interests of all the shareholders, possibly jobs of our partners, for something that would benefit the private lives of a small number of our employees. You responded a couple things: one, indicating that the sales and earnings, the stock price, which then was near record highs, seemed to vindicate that decision, and that, two, you respect other people’s opinion on this subject, and I appreciate that.

Unfortunately, after last year’s annual meeting, the National Organization for Marriage called for a boycott of our company. It’s my understanding that something like tens of thousands of people signed on to this particular boycott, and in the first full quarter after this boycott was announced, our sales and our earnings, shall we say politely, were a bit disappointing. Now was it all due to this boycott? Probably not. Was some of it due to this boycott? Probably so. Our stock value in a couple of days dropped about six or seven billion dollars, and about thirteen billion dollars from its high. And though we did well on a calendar year basis in two thousand and twelve, if you look back twelve months from this date a year ago our stock’s up about six percent, the S&P five hundred is up about eleven or twelve percent.


What is your question?


My question is this, and this is a really specific one: you also say—you've mentioned civility, and you've written about civility—


I want the question, sir.


My question is this. A human rights campaign which calls everybody a hater and a bigot if they disagree on marriage, which is very hurtful and it’s designed to silence people. When will you stop funding, as Starbucks does to the tune of ten thousand dollars a year, an organization that uses the most uncivil language in the most direct way?


And I welcome that question as I did last year. Because not every decision is an economic decision.

Despite the fact that you recite statistics that are narrow in time, we did provide a 38 percent shareholder return over the last year. I don’t know how many things you invest in, but I would suspect not many things—companies, products, investments—have returned 38 percent over the last twelve months.

Having said that, it is not an economic decision for me. The lens in which we are making that decision is through the lens of our people. We employ over 200,000 people in this company, and we want to embrace diversity: of all kinds.

[Speaking over fifteen seconds of cheers and applause:] If you feel, respectfully, that you can get a higher return than the 38 percent you got last year, it’s a free country. You could sell your shares in Starbucks and buy shares in another company. Thank you very much. [Cheers and applause.]

[2:27:00 End transcript.]

Makes you want to go out and buy a cup of coffee.

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In each of us, two natures are at war

by Scrvpvlvs
Feb 24, 2013 9:56 PM–Reflection given at Westside Unitarian Universalist Church, February 24, 2012.

Long time listener, first time caller.

I have often told myself that I should keep company with people who make me better than I am. That feeling led me to take my first job in Texas, led me to make a life with Anita, and led me to become a member of this church. I am grateful for you, and I feel a bit intimidated. As I prepared my talk I was both excited and fearful: excited by the chance to give something of value, fearful that anything I had to say would be inadequate.

I have heard that there were three Unitarian Universalists returning by air from a conference when a hijacker demanded that the plane be flown to Cuba. When the pilot refused, the hijacker threatened to shoot some passengers. Purely by chance, he picked out the row of Unitarian Universalists. The nearest one asked for a last wish: to sing her favorite Unitarian Universalist hymn. The hijacker agreed, then asked if the other two had any last wishes. The second UU asked that after the song he be allowed to stand and give the talk he had prepared to give at church that next Sunday. The hijacker agreed, then turned to the third UU, who asked, “please shoot me after the song.”

Some social scientists might say that I have just made several common face-saving and face-threatening gestures associated with favor seeking. According to politeness theory, there are two basic wants in a social situation: wanting to be appreciated, called your positive face, and wanting not to be imposed on, called your negative face, and that people either cooperate to satisfy these wants, called face saving, or oppose them, called face threatening. When I stand here in the pulpit and speak to you, while you sit and listen, that can be analyzed as a potential imposition on you, a face-threatening situation. So it is important that I make face-saving gestures such as expressing my gratitude for you, minimizing my importance, and acknowledging that you could choose to shoot me instead of listen to me.

You could say that face saving is a big part of the work we do here at Westside. Westside is part of a progressive movement towards love, truth, and harmony, and that work takes many forms, but what I think makes all of that possible is our basic doctrine of equality and mutual respect.

I knew a person who attended a Unitarian Universalist explorer class at a different church. This person was taught the basic beliefs of Unitarian Universalists, including the idea that each person comes to Unitarian Universalism with unique beliefs and perceptions, and that the UU faith values this diversity. In fact, the UU faith was contrasted with the creedism of mainstream Christianity, and some rather impolite disparaging comments were made about the inflexibility of the Catholics. This person, who in fact held many Roman Catholic beliefs, felt a little humiliated by the Catholic bashing, and ultimately decided not to join.

About twelve years ago, I was a member of a group of people who met regularly to share their experiences of growing up with an alcoholic parent. The meeting format was designed with face saving in mind. Chairs were organized in a circle to create a sense of equality. We each took a turn to speak for up to five minutes about our experiences. Other members were expected to listen quietly without making comments or giving advice, and to keep what they heard strictly confidential. This very simple social structure was so unintimidating, nonjudgmental, and generally respectful that we learned to speak honestly about extremely personal feelings and perceptions and shocking or humiliating actions and experiences that we had never been able to disclose before with anyone. This was therapeutic because it dissolved guilt feelings made it easier to speak honestly about the same things with trusted counselors, family members, and friends.

That group embodied for me what I now know as the affirmation we read at the beginning of every service:

Love is the doctrine of this church, the quest of truth is its sacrament, and service is its prayer. To dwell together in peace, to seek knowledge in freedom, to serve others in community, to the end that all souls shall grow into harmony with creation, thus do we covenant with one another.

Each person came to these meetings with unique beliefs and perceptions, but we gathered in peace and love, for the purpose of finding and sharing our truth, serving one another to the end that we would grow into harmony with creation.

When I started attending Westside, I realized that it operates the same way. Westside embodies our affirmation. And I feel that this is the greatest work that we do here at Westside. Like other world religions, our religion is, at its heart, therapeutic. It is a joy and a relief for us to come here where there is love, peace, freedom, and community. Westside lifts us up, gives us the hope of harmony, and makes all our other work: our religious exploration, our activism, our teaching, our service to the larger world, possible.

Now I would like to talk a little about the two faces of that larger world.

The opening legend of the 1920 silent movie Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde reads,

In each of us, two natures are at war--the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, and one of them must conquer. But in our own hands lies the power to choose---what we want most to be, we are.¹

If you are a parent, you certainly know that babies are naturally helpful. According to a 2009 article in The New York Times, biologists are coming to believe that this is a distinctively human trait. Long before parents start teaching children to be polite, they are innately helpful. “When infants 18 months old see an unrelated adult whose hands are full,” says the article, “and who needs assistance opening a door or picking up a dropped clothespin, they will immediately help.”²

My first proud memory is also my earliest memory. I was about two years old. My baby sister, who was cradled in a bassinet on the dining table, dropped a toy over the side. I just remember reaching the toy way up to the bassinet and seeing her tiny hand grab ahold of it.

But I also remember the summer when I was three or four years old and fascinated by daddy longlegs. Depending on what part of the country you are from, this name may mean something different to you, so I will describe mine: they are arachnids, slow and spiderlike with eight very long legs, no silk glands or venom, harmless and defenseless. That summer I delighted in pulling the legs off them. The next summer, when I saw my first daddy longlegs, I remembered what I did. I felt so remorseful about it that I nearly threw up. I still feel uncomfortable remembering it.

Sidonie Matsner Gruenberg was a writer and authority in child study and parent education. Of Jewish heritage, she embraced the secular humanism of Felix Adler and made parent education her life’s work. She valued the latest scientific discoveries and had a gift for translating them into meaningful information for parents, beginning with her 1912 book Your Child Today and Tomorrow. She wrote many other books and advised the White House on family issues, and was active in her field into her nineties.³

In her 1916 book Sons and Daughters Sidonie wrote that

a child with a certain amount of initiative and curiosity will investigate the structure and insides of everything that he can possibly take apart. While he is still young and inexperienced, he makes no discrimination between dissecting a toy dog and a live insect. … There is a suspicion of cruelty only when the child is old enough to have a clear idea what suffering means, and to realize that other beings can suffer as he can, and from the same causes as those that make him suffer. Moreover [she continues], we must distinguish between the brutality that is a rather negative callousness or indifference to suffering, and the positive cruelty that derives satisfaction from the suffering of others. There are very few children who manifest cruelty in the latter sense.

Notice what she does not say. She does not say that we lose the capacity to be callous to suffering as we grow older, or lack the capacity to be cruel. She says that we gain the capacity to know when other beings suffer. And as innately helpful as we are, we then want to help. This combination can be deadly. Dudley Kidd, an anthropologist who studied the social lives of native South Africans more than a hundred years ago, is notable for the attention he paid to the unique lives of children. He observed:

But there is deliberate cruelty in the way [children] torture some insects and animals which they think hurt men and women. They often choose a harmless lizard, under a mistaken idea that it stings human beings; they slowly torture it to death, talking to it all the time, and telling it that it deserves to suffer because it is an enemy of man. … Instances are not wanting where children under eight or nine years of age have rushed to the defense of the mother, or some other close friend, with the exclamation, “I’d like to kill you!”

These are examples of what we call contempt, which is the devaluation of something or someone, the sense that a person is no longer deserving of our help, that their suffering matters less, or not at all. Some of you have no doubt read Blink, the 2005 book by Malcolm Gladwell. In the book, Gladwell discusses some research results by Dr. John Gottman, a professor of psychology whose special area of interest is relationships and marital stability. Dr. Gottman developed something he calls the Mathematics of Divorce. 10 He became an expert in reading facial expressions, and found that one hour of videotape of a married couple contained enough information to let him predict with 95% certainty whether the couple would still be married fifteen years later, no matter what they thought. The most important piece of information for Dr. Gottman’s predictions turned out to be bits of body language which reflect contempt: nearly imperceptible facial twitches, eye rolls, vocal tones which signal that one person considers the other person to be inferior, that (at least for a moment) they have devalued that person.

What we can do to other people we have devalued is truly frightening. The book History of Windham County, Connecticut relates a story of a public hanging of a man who had murdered his wife, attended by a crowd of six to ten thousand in 1831. This was not an unusual spectacle.

In expectation of the … influx, landlords and liquor sellers provided vast supplies of all kinds of liquor, and hired a special guard to keep watch of the criminal the night before execution, lest he should commit suicide or in any way escape [which naturally would eat into liquor sales]. Long before the break of day, … the various roads were thronged with wagons and foot travelers, single men and families, coming from all parts of Windham county and adjacent states. A gallows was set up in a hollow … where the vast multitude of spectators crowding its sloping sides enjoyed a distinct view of the whole proceedings. “There were never half so many drunk at any one time and place in [the] county”; … the throng was so vast that long before night not a mouthful could be procured in the village either to eat or drink except water …

Love is the doctrine of this church, and we do not believe in devaluing others. We believe that every creature is precious and deserving of love and respect. We are a gentle people who wish to dwell together in peace. But in the larger world we serve there are people with more aggressive personality traits.

Bob Altemeyer is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Manitoba. About six years ago, he released a book titled “The Authoritarians”, in which he describes something called an “authoritarian personality”. The problem of the book is to understand the rise of tyrants in a democracy. Such a person needs the support of large numbers of ordinary people. How did someone like Adolf Hitler gain the enormous popular support he needed to take over political power in Germany? Bob Altemeyer’s answer is that there is a large minority in every population of people, perhaps one out of every three or four, who share three personality traits:

  • “a high degree of submission to the established, legitimate authorities in their society”
  • “high levels of aggression in the name of their authorities, and”
  • “a high level of conventionalism”.

These are people who readily disagree with statements such as “there is no one right way to live life, everyone has to create their own way” and agree with statements such as “what our country really needs is a strong determined leader who will crush evil, and take us back to our true path”. According to Altemeyer, in experiments, the best predictor of who will have these traits is a person’s fear of a dangerous world. These are people who love their children, work hard, support their communities, but also feel threatened not just in dangerous situations, but all the time, day after day. And so it is no wonder that they want an aggressive savior, and that terrible things can happen when they get one.

I have long wondered at the difference between peaceful and aggressive people, and one clue I have found is in the work of a Russian geneticist called Dimitry Belyaev. He carried out a massive breeding experiment with foxes in which each generation was bred by selecting the tamest individuals from the previous generation. And something surprising occurred. The new breed of foxes which developed purely by selection for tameness gained many physical characteristics common to dogs: floppy ears and curly tails, for instance, but also smaller adrenal glands and higher levels of serotonin, which made these animals less fearful and aggressive. It is very possible that we Unitarians are largely a community of the floppy eared, curly tailed variety of humans, genetically predisposed to be peaceful, loving people because we are less fearful. And it is equally possible that people with the authoritarian personality are genetically predisposed to be more aggressive because they are more fearful.

If this is true, then when we are interacting with people in the larger world, face saving gestures are very important because for many people it is natural to feel threatened. Unitarians want to change the world, and change can be very threatening. I could wish that when people think of Unitarians, they think of us as mostly as the polite, loving, and above all safe people, with floppy ears and curly tails, that we are.

As we rise in body or spirit …

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Clorox does not understand how to measure bleach

by Scrvpvlvs
Jan 24, 2013 6:45 PM–

Dear The Clorox Company:

To treat new, fresh water in a 6 000 gallon pool, should it cost me 4 cups of “Clorox” regular bleach, or only 3?

After reading the instructions for pool water treatment on your service bulletins page[PDF] I believe you have something wrong.

Your service bulletin says 200 ounces “Clorox” regular bleach supplies 10 ppm available chlorine in 10 000 gallons of water. Based on this, it should cost 3 cups of bleach to supply 2 ppm available chlorine in a 6 000 gallon pool.

And 3 cups must be right because it works out to “Clorox” regular bleach containing 6.4% available chlorine by volume. Your service bulletin says it contains about 6% sodium hypochlorite by weight (and you describe it elsewhere as containing 6% sodium hypochlorite) and this also works out to 6.4% available chlorine by volume, assuming the specific gravity is 1.12 which is a reasonable value for household bleach. So all these facts make sense together.

But your service bulletin also says 4 cups of bleach supplies 2 ppm available chlorine in 6 000 gallons of water, and gives a table of values for other pool sizes which are proportional to this.

4 cups only makes sense if “Clorox” regular bleach contains only 4.8% available chlorine by volume, which can’t be right. And if this is wrong, then your whole table is wrong, and is causing pool owners to overdose their pools by a factor of a third.

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