blunt essays with sharp points
Jun 19, 2000 6:06 PM–SCRVPVLVS has long been aware of the widening chasm between the teachings of Jesus and contemporary Christian beliefs and behavior. This article is the first in a series, addressed only to Christians, pointing out the gaps and calling for a return to living as Jesus taught.
Christians, why do you waste yourself on career advancement? Pleasure and longevity? Family and possessions? You should detach yourself from all these things, keep Gods commands, and devote yourself to prayer, for the kingdom of God is near.
Receive and meditate on the words of Paul to the church of God.
remain as you are; keep Gods commands
17 [Each] one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping Gods commands is what counts.
remain as you are; do not let your slavery trouble you
20 Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. 21 Were you a slave when you were called? Dont let it trouble you--although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lords freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christs slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
remain as you are; marriage would create many troubles
24 Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to. 25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lords mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
detach yourself from your family, feelings, possessions and all things of the worldit is passing away
29 What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. 1 Cor 7
Receive and meditate on the words of Jesus according to Mark.
do not seek authority
42 [...] You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. Mark 10
our hearts create thoughts of taking pleasure, possessions and power; these make a man unclean
21 For from within, out of mens hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and make a man unclean. Mark 7
your family is the church of God
31 Then Jesus mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you. 33 Who are my mother and my brothers? he asked. 34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does Gods will is my brother and sister and mother. Mark 3
give up your possessions to the poor
21 [...] One thing you lack, he said. Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. Mark 10
work is not the way
16 As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 17 Come, follow me, Jesus said, and I will make you fishers of men. 18 At once they left their nets and followed him. 19 When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. 20 Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him. Mark 1
deny your self; do not wish for longevity; be ready to give up your life for Jesus
34 [...] If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 [... Whoever] wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. Mark 8
keep Gods commands: the Law
17 [What] must I do to inherit eternal life? [...] 19 You know the commandments: Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother. Mark 10
keep Gods commandments: spend all of your self on loving the one God; love your neighbor as yourself
28 [...] Of all the commandments, which is the most important? 29 The most important one, answered Jesus, is this: Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31 The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12
devote yourself to prayer
38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. Mark 14
the world will end before this generation passes away
30 I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Mark 13
In short, give up your world. Give up your plans, feelings, family and possessions to God. Stand aside, keep Gods commands, pray and wait for the incipient kingdom of God.
9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God. Phil 3
Scripture quoted by permission from THE HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION.
An event planning tip from SCRVPVLVS: Did you know that you can schedule good weather for your next event up to six months in advance? Planning an outdoor wedding? Want fresh powder for that ski trip? (No, not that kind of powder.) How about a good soaker the day after you put in your new lawn?
It used to be that the best you could do was the three day forecast. Now, though, the miracle of the Internet brings you the weather half a year from now. Yahoo! Weather offers the five day outlook and the thirty day outlook for free. But if your event is further out, then this amazing offer is only a click away. For only $15 (or $9 for members) you can get the six month outlook, telling you whether each day’s temperature will be normal, hot or cold, and whether the day will be sunny, stormy or snowy. And to ensure complete satisfaction, if it rains on your parade, your money will be cheerfully refunded!
Have you ever heard the weatherman predict storms so far in advance? Sound too good to be true? Maybe it is. Maybe it’s the cleverest Internet based scam yet developed to liberate money from the gullible.
Suppose only 100 people per day of the millions who use Yahoo! buy six-month outlooks. The happy suckers whose events don’t happen to be rained out will not know the difference. In fact they’ll probably believe the good weather was courtesy of Yahoo! But some customers will get bad weather. Even if one in four events gets bad weather, and all of those disappointed suckers who deserve a refund complain and get one mailed to them, even adding a $1 burden for postage and handling of refunds, Yahoo! Weather would still earn $11 per customer per day, that is, $1100 per day. With that kind of dough they could easily hire an administrative assistant to make bogus daily predictions and process refunds, and still be able to line their pockets with daily profits of nearly $1000.
SCRVPVLVS is planning to go into the weather business.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes they fool you by walking upright.
What part of “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn” don’t you understand?
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. —Terry Pratchett
Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig. —Robert Heinlein
Do not ask why the past was better than the present, for this is not a question prompted by wisdom. —Ecclesiastes 7:10
Power lines abruptly stopped causing cancer in 1997 after the U.S. National Cancer Institute conducted a better study. —Robert Parks
Встретимся под столом! (Vstretimsja pod stolom: To meeting you under the table!)
The more you cry, the less you’ll pee.
Relish the love of a good woman.
It’ll never get better if you keep picking at it. —advice from Judge “Maximum” Bob Gibbs