Scrupuli
blunt essays with sharp points
Back On Your Heads
by ScrvpvlvsApr 6, 2009 1:45 PM–The devil, escorting a lawyer to his place in hell, gives him a choice of three rooms in Hell in which to spend eternity. However, the laywer may only examine each room once and either choose it or reject it.
The first room is too huge to see across. Millions of agonized people in business suits are up to their waists in boiling hot shit.
Knowing the devil’s friendship for really smart lawyers such as himself, the lawyer figures this room is not for him and rejects it.
The second room is smaller; you can actually see the far wall. Hundreds of thousands of agonized people in business suits are up to their necks in boiling hot shit.
The lawyer makes a quick calculation. He can see which direction this is heading, but he knows the devil loves trickery and also has a warm spot in his heart for really smart, tricky lawyers such as himself. With a knowing look at the devil, he rejects the second room.
The devil escorts him to the third room. It is only the size of one city block, and populated with people in business suits standing in boiling hot shit about one foot deep, drinking cups of coffee.
The lawyer sees a few of his Manhattan colleagues, who wave and smile. He steps down into the room, gets himself a cup of coffee, and begins to chat with a couple of divorce attorneys.
Then a loud whistle blows. A small army of imps armed with pitchforks collect the coffee cups, and their captain announces, “Okay, coffee break’s over. Back on your heads.”
Labels: attorney, business, coffee, devil, divorce, door, doors, funny, hell, imp, imps, joke, lawyer, manhattan, shit, story, suit, suits, three
(go to complete article)
Share:
about.me
Follow
vs.
Recent Articles
Open letter re: Grinnell College alumni “lifetime”...
Spybot – Search & Destroy interferes with Lync 201...
Howard Schultz of Starbucks: firm on support for m...
In each of us, two natures are at war
Clorox does not understand how to measure bleach
Archives
November 1999June 2000
July 2000
September 2001
October 2001
February 2002
March 2002
June 2003
February 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
February 2005
March 2005
November 2005
July 2007
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
April 2009
September 2009
December 2009
February 2010
March 2010
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
April 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
December 2011
February 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
November 2012
January 2013
February 2013
April 2013
February 2014
May 2014
October 2014
June 2017
February 2019
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes they fool you by walking upright.
What part of “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn” don’t you understand?
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. —Terry Pratchett
Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig. —Robert Heinlein
Do not ask why the past was better than the present, for this is not a question prompted by wisdom. —Ecclesiastes 7:10
Power lines abruptly stopped causing cancer in 1997 after the U.S. National Cancer Institute conducted a better study. —Robert Parks
Встретимся под столом! (Vstretimsja pod stolom: To meeting you under the table!)
The more you cry, the less you’ll pee.
Relish the love of a good woman.
It’ll never get better if you keep picking at it. —advice from Judge “Maximum” Bob Gibbs